Cycle 2400.05 — JUNE 2025

📰 THE KOVARI ISLAND CURRENT

Edition 001 – Delivered Unrequested. Opened Without Permission.
If you’re reading this, you’ve already been noticed.

🩸 TOP STORIES

➤ MASKED RIOT INTERRUPTED BY INTERMISSION
Last night’s protest in Masquerade Quarter was briefly paused for a standing ovation. Sources confirm the unrest was "a deeply moving performance piece"—complete with aerial acrobatics, a fire eater named Mercy, and several unexplained disappearances.

Attendees are unsure whether it was real or ticketed.
No refunds will be issued.

➤ GLITCH BLOOM DETECTED NEAR SECTOR 9 VENTS
A spreading network of glowing vines has emerged overnight. Locals report the plants hum softly in binary and cause minor hallucinations if stared at too long. Authorities advise: “Do not inhale the spores. Especially if they ask you to.”

The vines are currently being studied by a corporation that denies existing.

➤ BLACKREACH STEAM LEAK TURNS SENTIENT, DEMANDS NAME
A rogue steam plume has reportedly begun speaking in riddles and flirting with maintenance workers. The Syndicate has offered to “either negotiate with it or marry it, whichever causes less paperwork.”

Current working name: Hissandra.

🎭 CULTURE & DISTRICT LIFE

• CARNIVALE
— Local DJ SicBoy // MindLeak launched a new track only audible to those recently arrested. It's trending. So are the charges.

• THORNWAY RETRO
— Pie Duel rematch postponed due to wardrobe sabotage. Victim claims her opponent replaced her petticoat with a live eel. Officials call it “spirited competition.”

• SABLEWOOD
— The Rebellion Garden bloomed this morning in the shape of a middle finger. Botanists claim it’s an accident. Teenagers claim it’s art.

📎 LOST & FOUND

  • FOUND: One Guardian-issued boot print embedded six inches deep in a nightclub wall. Still warm.

  • MISSING: Three seconds. No one remembers what they were used for.

  • FOR SALE: One malfunctioning Striker (black mechanical horse). Occasionally gallops backwards into time.

💬 QUOTE OF THE CYCLE

“No one leaves Kovari Island. But the scenery changes for those who behave.”
— Unverified Guardian Broadcast, 3:12am

📡 GLITCH ALERT: OVERRIDE ZONE 2A

A silent siren is currently sounding in parts of Region 2.
If you can’t hear it, you’ve already been affected.

Brought to you by:

The Kovari Island Current – Where truth is optional, but consequences are mandatory.